From Grief To Growth: Embracing Abundance with Sandra Tadros Guirguis l S1E040

Linda Orsini: 00:00:08

Hello and welcome to a call for love. I believe the most powerful gift you can offer yourself is to give and receive love more freely. I'm your host Linda Orsini meditation guidance spiritual coach. Everyone has the desire to be seen, heard, respected and loved. The journey to becoming more connected to your greater purpose lies within the ability to live from the deep source of love within you. Let's begin. Welcome everybody to a call for love. I'm so grateful that you landed here. And I believe it's no accident because a call for love is all about living from your highest vibration. And that's what Sandra does. She is a vibrant and passionate public speaker with a wealth of experience in the healthcare and wellness domain. With a background as a licensed clinical pharmacists, personal trainer and healthy eating coach, she brings a comprehensive perspective to achieving a holistic well being. And I really love this about Sandra because we are very aligned this way. And we both believe that it's the whole person that we wanted really talk to, and she is dedicated to this with her physical health, and she is a new budding author. And I'm not going to share the details. I'm not gonna spoil it. I'll let you hear it from Sandra herself. So Sandra, welcome to a call for love.

Linda Orsini: 00:01:41

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here with you.

Linda Orsini: 00:01:45

Yes, please tell us your exciting news. I am so I love love the title. And I can't wait to read it. So please share with us your exciting news. Okay.

Linda Orsini: 00:01:57

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Well, the exciting news is this book is just ready for pre order and launching in November. And I was just sharing with Linda before we started recording that there's something about, you know, these first orders coming through and just feeling so grateful to have the opportunity to share my message. So the book is called embracing abundance. And it's essentially a journey to wellness and wholeness through faith and self care. So often people will say to me, Well, you know, has is the fitness tie in with your health care? And I thought, well, you know, I'm so glad that you asked because in health care, of course, we see people who are newly diagnosed with certain conditions. One of my first patients with a gentleman with a very high dose of pain medication, he's now you know, he's got hyperalgesia it's not responding. And his family doctor says to me, you know, we've got to taper him off, his body is really not working. And this poor gentleman doesn't know where to go. And Linda, you know, we work together. And he started seeing one of our counselors who did exactly the message that you provide, she teaches self compassion and deep breathing and centering I spoke with one of our dieticians, who helped really explain how what we eat our gut health those great, you know, probiotics are microbiome affects our mental health as well, right? These anti inflammatory foods like salmon can help with this, you know, his pain. And we work to get these medications down and we got him moving, just some gentle walking, we had like a pole walking group. Have you ever seen that Linda, with those poles, like the Nordic poles, long story short, you know, this gentleman was one of many that really benefited from that holistic approach, right of, you know, exercise and nutrition and so forth. And with my own loss, that I that I will share, I you know, was going through the motions had, you know, my 10 year plan my everything. And you know, at the age of 33, my husband got sick and sicker and we prayed and I come from you know, very devout faith. And you know, we prayed and we believed in miracles, which I still believe in, you know, but at this point, it just wasn't. It just wasn't what was happening. So he passed and I remember having my two year olds and my four year old and just for the first time in my life being really, really lost. I was sitting at the dentist's office, you know, a few weeks still in this haze and you check off your marital status, right? And I just stared at the word widow. Widow. Widow.

Linda Orsini: 00:04:26

Why, you know, why am I having such a hard time with claiming that word is my own? Right? Who am I now? How does this work? How do I heal and for a long time, I was kind of in that frozen autopilot until I made that conscious choice of I want to love I want to live big again. Right? I was just in this very numb autopilot which you know, as many of us know can happen we have a setback and we just going through the motions, but it was when I made that choice. And I started connecting with community, you know, friends, and I started to pray again I started to read Scripture. I just started to make little changes with movement, you know, going for a walk outdoors. And I started this beautiful deep breathing that you do on Insight Timer, and that I now recommend to all of my patients, Linda, and you know, and that whole piece kind of came together. So I Sandra did nothing special or different, just like anybody hurting. All I did do. And I guess what I hope we can together encourage our beautiful listeners to do is maybe take that choice to say I will start to love myself or I want to live more abundantly, what can I do? Maybe it's the five minute you know, pod, listening to the meditation, maybe I'm just going to get outside, even for five minutes to sit on the front porch and get that fresh air. You know, maybe I'm going to add probiotics to my diet. Who of you like kefir or sauerkraut? Whatever, you know, does it and that, you know, I really do believe that this look at you know, the whole person can can do magical things. And we really can heal and can thrive and don't need to be stuck in that floundering kind of numb feeling after loss.

Linda Orsini: 00:06:05

Well, it sounds like your journey admit many times I got shivers down my spine as you were talking because I've seen that you had a significant loss, you know, to be a widow at age 33 with two youngsters, that's a big pill to swallow. But it's really through your awareness and hope. Right? There was hope. There's something to live for. I do feel that, you know, a lot of us can have a mindset that we kind of give up. But then we can give up. I mean, it's big, and it's huge. But eventually when we're able, when we're able through self compassion, it always begins with us to take those baby steps. Right, baby steps take you far.

Linda Orsini: 00:06:58

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Yes, absolutely, absolutely. You know, the greatest one of the ladies that comes to my classes at the gym, and I'll have you know, I did dress up for Halloween, I was wearing this big muscle suit, you know, and I had this little wig and, you know, I was walking through the class, but she came and she said she just hiked a mountain. You know, she just came back from my 12 day trip. And she said it was one of the most remarkable things she did. And she said, you know, in my 50s Sandra, you know, I didn't grow up athletic or anything like that. I just literally put one step in front of the other, just the small little goals. She said, I never said right off the bat, I'm going to climb that mountain. But I said, you know, I'm gonna walk for five minutes. And then maybe next month, I'll walk for 10. So exactly, as you said, when we're able, and just knowing that these little bite sized things are, are huge.

Linda Orsini: 00:07:46

Exactly. I remember my son saying he was I think 18 or 19. He says, I don't know what to do with my lights. And I looked at him and I said either July. And you looked at me. And I'm like we're always recreating ourselves. It well if we if we're living vibrantly. And so recreating yourself is what you're saying, you know, that lady who took the step to climb the mountain, I, you know, we have to, of course, go outside of our comfort zone. And that's where growth is, I always say do it with VR?

Linda Orsini: 00:08:24

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Yes, yeah, absolutely, there needs to be that little bit of challenge for change, right. And I see that so completely. And I love that you said it's, you know, you are really changing and reinventing yourself. And I actually in the book, I refer to myself as Sandra 1.0, Sandra 2.0, you know, who eventually was able to have this, you know, abundant life that she loves, and it wasn't, you know, and I did break, and I did you know, fall apart, and I'm not the same and I think nor would I want to be, right, but I really accepted that, you know, beauty does come from the ashes, or you know, all of these beautiful sayings of hope of, you know, the rainbow after, you know, the storm and all of that. And one thing that we know, and I think that I would love people to remember is that you're not alone, I think in a world of selfies and filters, and you know, this full moles, right, it's easy to feel like you're somehow behind or you're somehow the only one that's not enough, or not making it or you know, not airbrushed enough or whatever it is. And I think that people to remember that, you know, first of all this is highlights and not necessarily reality or to projecting but that you are enough and you're not alone. So we facilitate classes, right, so classes in clinic and you know, my colleagues and nurses and psychologists you know, do different things. And I'll never forget one of the classes where we came in with of course our slides and our beautiful you know, evidence based content which of course is great knowledge is wonderful. And we went through this is the you know, signal of how anxiety works. And this is depression and, you know, this is how it all works. And, you know the best moment for all the participants It didn't happen. When I spoke or one of my colleagues smokes, as you can guess, it was one of the participants that spoke up and said, you know, this is really hard for me. And immediately the the energy shifted in the room, you know, everyone just looked up with just this beautiful hopeful expression and says, Oh, my gosh, me too. And this happened with my sister in law, you know, and that's where all the magic happened, right? Once people said, I'm not alone. And I guess my hopes in sharing this story is to really say, I hear you, I see you, I encourage you, right. And, you know, you can pass through this and whatever stage you're in, I encourage people to tap into any kind of group or community, you know, whether they subscribe to your podcast, and they, you know, chat about it in the comments, or, you know, whether they connect with us on Instagram, and, you know, engage, it's amazing to see how just knowing that there's other people that hear you that see you that know your name, and that you are not alone, no matter how bad things are, you know, please don't feel like you're the only one that's just not getting it together. You know, and I share in the book, how rough it was for me, and, you know, in the hopes that, that it resonates with someone like you know, I know that you're here, and I'm so so sorry that you're hurting, but I know beautiful things can come from your your growth.

Linda Orsini: 00:11:17

I completely agree. I always say a call for love one of the messages, everyone wants to be seen, heard, respected, and loved. Yeah, bottom line, I can think of anybody who doesn't really long for that. And so your message is very aligned with that, being seen being heard, and being heard by our peers, you know, where I even did a post the other day, where there were three things, stop, stop what you're doing, put your phone down, stop typing, look at the person in the eye. And then rephrase what people are saying. So that they really feel heard. And it sounds like in that context, you had that people really stop and we're engaged. And that's what people need to hear their pain story, because the more you talk about your pain story, the more you heal. Yes, yes.

Linda Orsini: 00:12:13

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: And you know, and I will be the first to say I was so guilty, even though I know all about the grief cycle. And you know, Elisabeth Kubler Ross and you know, you'll go through these stages and they're fluid. Boy, is it another thing to live through it? And I will say I was, you know, very, very culpable that I just tried to stunt it. I just tried to go on autopilot. And I was like, it's fine. You know, I'm just gonna muscle through this. And, you know, it was my colleague that said to me, and then I was, you know, in line at Starbucks. And someone in front of me, I thought I was doing fine, right. And someone in front of me ordered a pumpkin spice latte, Linda, something very innocent, right, it was coming Spalding. And that triggered a memory in my loss. And I just started sobbing and just to let you know, you haven't seen me cry before. I don't cry elegantly with like, a tissue to the corner. And a cute little sniffle. This is like, full of ugly cry, you know, frightening the people around me and it just came out of me so forceful. And I was sharing a couple of these, you know, really inconvenient moments with my colleagues. And you know, one of them who does self compassion and reminds me so much of you so lovely, and just really encouraging people with love, you know, said to me, Sandra, you have to just sit with it. And I was doing the exact opposite. I was running and sprinting away. And she said, you know, put your hand on your heart, which releases oxytocin and symbolizes, you know, that self plug in that self compassion, and just breathe and say, you know, I feel like this, and that's okay. I'm not always going to feel like this. But this is where I am now. And I started sort of allowing myself to give myself that compassion and acknowledge what was happening. And I found, you know, those, those awkward encounters were are fewer and less in between.

Linda Orsini: 00:13:54

It's so timely, that we're really actually talking about this because as we're recording this, it's the Day of the Dead. I came back from San Diego. And they really honored the people who have passed away. It's not very somber, I mean, it's, of course, it's completely painful, but they are honoring those who passed away and remembering them and holding them. I just celebrated the anniversary of my mom passing. And I want to a little there's an edge of sadness of because it's time now but it's, we want to remember those who have gone before us. We want to hold them in our hearts, as painful as it can be, but to hold that. And as I'm sharing this, my hand automatically went to my heart. Isn't that interesting? I love that. That soothing touch, that soothing touch. So when you're saying embracing abundance, I really feel well they say a miracle is a shift in perspective. So you are grieving and rightfully so. And then you shifted, you shifted into abundance. So tell us, what is in your book? What is your book a reader? What can they expect by reading your book? Sure. So

Linda Orsini: 00:15:13

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: it really reads like an encouraging conversation with a friend. So, you know, people who know me know, I've even got some of my cheesy jokes in there. And you know, and sometimes it's hard low. And I'll relate and say, you know, here's, you know, my story. I start off with my stories, I would say, a warning is the intro can be very emotional, right? I talk right from the beginning of the hospital, you know, the Code Blue, what that was like to give some perspective. And then it starts to say, where do we go from here? And as it picks up, I tie in, it's really every piece of my heart. Minda. So, anything I've learned through the decades in health care, you know, about evidence based, you know, here's laughing, giving gratitude, you know, mindfulness, all of these things. And you'll find footnotes of Here's the article, you know, in Mayo Clinic, or, you know, CDC or so forth, and how these things helped. And here's how they helped me. So I talked about, you know, I received this book at such a timely moment that I feel it was also one of the many little miracles, it was my friend's sister, that sent me a book that helped me eventually try to tap in a friend that sent me a Bible verse, it was Jeremiah 2911. And I kept reading it for I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you not to harm you, for for hope, and a future. So again, I held on to whatever I could with hope, and with gratitude, and all of the steps. So it's little, little bite sized chapters of here's got health, giving everything. And then there's the four little little chapters in the end, eventually talk about, you know, when I remarried, and what that was like, and here's, you know, my my big fumble into online dating, and you know, what to watch for, and a few things like that, and kind of said, well, here's where I am now, I leave you with these kind of all of these holistic approaches to wellness, here's people you can reach to go deeper, and, you know, share you to either tell your story, use the tools to help yourself help others. And my, my real hope and desire is that if even one person says, you know, that one chapter on X, you know, I think I'm gonna start doing that, it will have been all worth it, you know, the writing process everything, and maybe it encourages one person to say, you know, I'm going to share my story and what helps me and how beautiful will the world be, if we're all just open in our vulnerability and our transparency. And then we come behind this, you know, veneer that I think it's social media, I'm not saying it's all bad, I love, you know, we follow each other. And we love the content we use here. But I think it needs to be taken cautiously, because there can be sometimes more harm than good, right? If there's comparison trap, and all of that. So just Let's drop the guards and let's come as our authentic self, here's me, here's, here's what was awful. And here's what was good. And here's me trying to move forward. And I think in that we encourage others. And

Linda Orsini: 00:18:05

it's a beautiful thing. Well, I hear hope. That's what I hear in your voice hope. And that's a beautiful thing that really people want to emulate, because we all have hard times. And of course, you and I both live in Canada. And right now we are very safe and very held and cared for. But there is so much out there. And no matter how people are suffering, hope is a message that we always want to inspire. So I feel like your book is a journey that takes somebody from the depths of grief. And follows follows you to your state of abundance. Because clearly right now you're vibrating very high. If you

Linda Orsini: 00:18:58

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: nailed it, you nailed exactly the whole, you encompass the book so elegantly and lean beautifully. Linda,

Linda Orsini: 00:19:05

I'm always thinking about the kids, your children are looking up to you. And they've seen how you've, you know, been really sad, and greed, and then you've turned it around, and you've made a happy, vibrant likes of them. That is a great, great example for your children.

Linda Orsini: 00:19:25

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Thank you, thank you for saying that. Because in all of this, you know, right from I remember, you know, and anyone who who's listening or yourself, Linda, I know you said you, your mom has passed knows that things happen very fast, right? So in one moment, you know, they're calling the time of passing and the sheet and, you know, and all of a sudden, they're like, Well, you need to get to the funeral home and you need to pick up a suit from home and you know, everything just happened so fast. And I remember just being frozen and I was like wait, wait, my children, my children. What am I going to say? How am I going to say I remember just, you know, being so anxious About this and again, I talked about, you know, do you believe in miracles? I certainly do. You know, and what, and then I see that it can sometimes be the people that come in your life. So this beautiful social worker who was working in the hospital at the time came to understand you're very distressed, you know, sorry for a loss. And I said, Yes, please just tell me what to do, you know, the viewings and whatever, two days or how fast you know, everything was arranged. And she had such a nice idea. She said, Well, we want to make sure that they have closure, right, even though there's so little, they haven't been able to see him. He was, you know, in the ICU, and things were tricky. And she said, and have a way to say goodbye. So why don't you have a private viewing talk to them at the whole at the funeral home? Before everyone comes? And I told her, I said, I come from a culture, you know, Middle East or Middle Eastern and Mediterranean, you know, everyone's in black. And it's very somber. And sometimes there's wailing, like, I don't want them to see all that. But I don't want them to have not had a chance to watch that come to the viewing, but it's just too and and they have a chance to say why they can write a little note or Trinket and put it in and say, you know, why didn't dad which was I think the best, most beautiful suggestion, you know, she has, I think gave me and I think it really was able to I mean, seeing their little little bodies is not something I can unsee unfortunately, you know, standing over, you know, the coffin that they're barely taller than what I have that comfort that they were able to have that closure. So in the weeks and months that passed, they at least felt like I got to see, I got to say bye. And you know, I got to see him, which was nice. So but it was and that was through till now, you know, I think a call minute recurrent thing is, you know, the kids are the kiddos, okay, what can I be, you know, doing? And it's funny, because, again, at a party, I ran into someone that said, Kids want to know for things, she worked with children. And they said, it's the four C's? Did

Linda Orsini: 00:21:53

I cause it? Can you catch it?

Linda Orsini: 00:21:57

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Can you cure it? And who will care for me? And I talked about it in the book, how one of these was a big surprise. When I said to my children, you know, you know that, you know, you didn't cause it and they were like we didn't, I was like, Haha, like, how could you have thought that you cause that my loves? And you know, and they said, well, one time he came home, and he wasn't feeling well for one of the treatments at the hospital. And we thought maybe we hugged him tonight. And that's what caused it. And like my heart just shattered, you know, you don't know what goes on in two and four year old law. And I still pray for and thank, you know, the lady that said this to me, because I thought I would have never thought to ask like there's no possibility they could you know, think that and again, we said, You know what, we're here for you. Because now as kids, you know, I don't know about you, Linda, but I thought my parents were invincible until like, for a long, long time, right? But once you see one of them pass at a young age of something like well, what if something happens to me? All right, what if something happens to you know, this person, so we got to talk about all the beautiful people that love them and that they would be supported for So those four C's of grief is you know, it's a small chapter. But I think it's just again, if it's not directly relatable to someone, you know, if your friend or someone is going through it, it's good for us to all know, hey, you know, there's these four quick questions that are helpful for children if there's children involved when there's grief.

Linda Orsini: 00:23:12

That's super, super important. Because I know that zero to seven are the formative years. And a child's mind takes everything as real. Everything is real. So I'm going to repeat that again for the listeners, children, and I would say everybody needs closure, and to say goodbye, which you could do before either cremation or burial. And everyone, especially children need to hear that they didn't cause it. What's the catch for?

Linda Orsini: 00:23:47

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Can I catch it? Like, is it contagious? So either just before someone passes or after they pass like, do I have it in me write that I catch it. So they want to know that I caused it? Was I responsible? Can you catch it? Is there a cure for it? Right? Can this be reversed somehow? And then who will care for me?

Linda Orsini: 00:24:05

Wow, that's really a gem. Yeah.

Linda Orsini: 00:24:09

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: And again, we talked about you said, you know, just how you said to the listeners, I feel like it's not a coincidence. You know, you landed here. I really believe that. And if I tell you how I came to know this knowledge, it wasn't the grief center, I went to with them or anything. We were at a kid's birthday party, and the boy in the husband and the wife that you know, they're the parent of the child, his best friend was there. And his sister from I think she lives in Halifax was visiting. And she had a little girl there and we got to chatting. And she's like, you know, I do grief, you know, for children. And I thought, oh my gosh, and this is can you imagine like we're sitting there at a kid's birthday party and it was one of the best things I learned. And I think so I want to share with everyone here, you know, to feel empowered, you can really help, you know, and you're not saying hey, I'm a, you know, counselor, but you could say Hey, I heard somewhere, you know that there's Scorsese of grief for you know, I heard that hope is really helpful. I heard that if you place your hand on your chest, you know, and now we can look things up. And there's reputable sources. And, you know, I just love that we can all be trying to help with just the little nuggets that we're getting from each other. And I think it's really not a coincidence.

Linda Orsini: 00:25:16

I really believe that as well. And I think that as humans, we want to spread, I believe loving kindness in any way we can. And those are in the the natural teachable moments, right? When it presents itself, it's like a calling, it's like the universe kind of nudging you and saying, you know, present something that is hopeful, that is loving, that is kind and we could spread that at my school, we had spread kindness, like confetti. Oh,

Linda Orsini: 00:25:52

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: I love the I love that. Well, and you know, even I like to see the shift in health care as well. So for example, I was giving a talk and they said, you know, as a pharmacist, with this pharmaceutical company, you know, what are the things that kids can do for this immune season? Right. And so I talked about, you know, getting our share getting outside limiting screen time, because that shuts off the melatonin, you know, for the deep wave fleet and hugs and someone said to me, like, hugs, what do you mean? And I said, Yes, I said, when you give hugs, you know, like a 22nd Hug can affect you know, the hormones, the immune system, everything and it's right there. And I can't remember if it's Cleveland or Mayo Clinic, but there's reputable research on just hugging right which just seems like it's so simple. And so you know, alternative but really like this is scientifically and medically proven to help so just hugging the act of hugging you know, with yourself with your thoughts, writing someone a thank you note or verbalizing it, you know, this is all so, so much more powerful than I think we ever knew. Exactly.

Linda Orsini: 00:26:51

I was just at a retreat, and there was a grief counselor there to Nancy, who was leading it with that David G. And she said, never to hand somebody a Kleenex. Because it's kind of signifies like, just dry up your tears. And she says that people want Hi this, but ask them first. So ask May I hug you. And I forget those were really too powerful reflections. Because sometimes, if somebody's grieving, I don't know what to do. It feels overwhelming. And I get like tongue tied. And so not to offer a Kleenex, and to ask them for a hug. But I am such a hugger. So I would be like grasping the birth. Should I Please can I come with coming in? Especially being European descent? I think yeah, absolutely. But I would love for you to share how people can reach out to you, and how they can get your book.

Linda Orsini: 00:27:54

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Sure, I would love to share. So you know, I think we are going to be providing a copy as well to maybe one of the listeners, but also people can come into, there's a few ways if they want to connect on Instagram, that's probably where I'm the most active. And the handle there is at S T G underscore wellness. So as for Sandra, T for Tadros, G for Gurganus. Or you can remember St George underscore wellness, STG underscore wellness, and then my website's is STG wellness.ca. And there's a video on my Instagram, but it's really easy, you just go click on the where the hamburger icon is like the three lines, you can pick book and it'll say preorder your signed copy now. So we're accepting the pre orders and the full launch will be November 19.

Linda Orsini: 00:28:45

Oh, that is so awesome. And I will provide the link for how people can win a free copy of embracing abundance because it's very valuable. I find that there's somebody for sure in our lives that could use it, if not ourselves.

Linda Orsini: 00:29:04

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: Yes, agreed. And you know, and even if people are thinking, Well, you know, I'm not grieving or there hasn't been any loss, they're still all of those nuggets, you know, are for just a living more abundantly. So even if there is no loss, there is still so much benefit from you know, the self care strategies we talked about and, you know, and gratitude and how to do it and the different types of caring for yourself and so forth. And you know, how sugar impacts us, and so on. So I think there will be some helpful nuggets to everyone really, regardless of the stage of life that they're in. And

Linda Orsini: 00:29:36

I would like to add that I had a brother who passed away on net 53 And I agree really hard. And I looking back, I didn't know how to grieve. And when my parents I had three parents pass away in six months actually, and I had some better skills to cope with it. And I would have never thought that there's skills to cope with grief. Now, of course, I do know. And so even if you don't have grief in this moment, there will be a time that Greece can come knocking on your door. And you want to have the tools for it. Because when you're in that crisis mode, you're not going to want to have read a book, you're not going to have time. You're just in survival mode,

Linda Orsini: 00:30:27

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: and brain fog. And it's, it's hard that first time it's

Linda Orsini: 00:30:30

good to maybe get those skills before you become in a crisis. Thank you for joining a call for love. Sandra, you are so vibrant and love your energy. I can't wait to read it. And really, it was such a pleasure. You

Linda Orsini: 00:30:46

Sandra Tadros Guirguis: as well. Linda really from the first moment we spoke on the phone I but I love her. You know, you share so much just with such love and just the open arms. And it's funny because you said that you're a hugger even though we've only you know, and I can feel it, I can feel you'd like ready to just bring him out again. It just it resonates so beautifully through. So thank you and I've really enjoyed my time with you here and I'm really honored to have joined you.

Linda Orsini: 00:31:11

Thank you.

Linda Orsini: 00:31:15

Thank you for listening. It would mean so much to me. If you could share this episode with someone you feel could benefit from its message and subscribe to a call for love podcast. To receive new weekly episodes every Tuesday. Head over to global wellness education.com To learn more