Stop Your Brutal Inner Critic in Its Tracks: Encore Episode l S2E081
The episode everyone loves—affectionately nicknamed ‘The Pink Bunny’—is back: ‘Three Steps to Soothe the Brutal Inner Critic.’
As A Call For Love celebrates two incredible years, host Linda Orsini reflects on the journey—from a microphone and a dream to creating a space where self-love transforms lives.
In this encore, we revisit one of the most powerful tools for lasting change: mindfulness self-compassion. It’s not about bubble baths or feel-good affirmations—it’s about silencing that harsh inner voice and learning to treat yourself with kindness.
Get ready for practical strategies to shift your mindset, release guilt, and step into a life filled with confidence and peace.
Let’s make self-love your superpower!
About Linda:
Have you ever battled overwhelming anxiety, fear, self-limiting beliefs, soul fatigue or stress? It can leave you feeling so lonely and helpless. We’ve all been taught how to be courageous when we face physical threats but when it comes to matters of the heart and soul we are often left to learn, "the hard way."
As a school teacher for over 30+ years, struggling with these very issues, my doctor suggested anti-anxiety medication but that didn't resonate with me so I sought the healing arts. I expanding my teaching skills and became a yoga, meditation, mindfulness, reiki and sound healer to step into my power and own my impact.
A Call for Love will teach you how to find the courage to hold space for your fears and tears. To learn how to love and respect yourself and others more deeply.
My mission is to guide you on your journey. I believe we can help transform the world around us by choosing love. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else? Join a call for love.
Website - Global Wellness Education
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Transcript
Welcome to A Call for Love. It is the 2 year
Speaker:anniversary. I am so grateful to all the
Speaker:listeners who have been joining in for 2 years. I can
Speaker:hardly believe it. And if you're new to A Call for Love,
Speaker:then my heart is full of gratitude to you for joining in here
Speaker:because A Call for Love is about shifting,
Speaker:shifting a perspective. And shifting a perspective is actually a
Speaker:miracle, and you can create a miracle in your life. Because if you are
Speaker:in the place of fear, stress, anxiety, anger,
Speaker:jealousy, resentment, any of those negative emotions
Speaker:is under the umbrella of fear. And love, the highest
Speaker:vibration with joy, is your higher self. It's the
Speaker:path of flow. And if you want to shift from those
Speaker:2, then it's a call for love, and that's the
Speaker:meaning behind A Call for Love. And I have to
Speaker:say that I am so grateful that A Call for Love came into my
Speaker:life because, if you haven't heard the story,
Speaker:I was initially going to call this podcast 2 years ago
Speaker:now, Salt Lamp Meditations.
Speaker:And if you can see behind me, there are salt lamps. I love
Speaker:salt lamps, but the name of a podcast, Salt Lamp
Speaker:Meditations, I do not think it would have been anywhere
Speaker:near what A Call for Love brings to you, the listener, and to
Speaker:me, the provider of this journey. And I thank you.
Speaker:I thank you for being here present. Now on this 2
Speaker:years that I have dove into this podcast, showing
Speaker:up to try to be the best I can
Speaker:be in order to support others because we are
Speaker:all walking each other home, I would like to say the
Speaker:top listened to of all time episodes was
Speaker:episode number 4, 3 steps to soothe the
Speaker:brutal inner critic. And what does that tell you? It means
Speaker:that we are all suffering from
Speaker:that brutal chatter, chatter, chatter in our minds
Speaker:about ourselves, that inner critic. And you know what I say?
Speaker:Give the monkey a banana. If it wants to
Speaker:complain, if your mind wants to chatter all these
Speaker:illusionary, judgmental thoughts about
Speaker:yourself, then give it something else. And I say give
Speaker:it self compassion. Self compassion is
Speaker:my largest tool in my toolbox of wellness
Speaker:to guide me to living more peacefully
Speaker:and more in my light. And I invite you to listen to
Speaker:this episode, 3 steps to soothe the brutal inner critic,
Speaker:as an encore episode and really relive my
Speaker:experience. I tell this journey through a story that
Speaker:happens at the holidays, wearing my beautiful,
Speaker:warm, cozy pink bunny jacket, but
Speaker:not quite appropriate for, like, a black
Speaker:tie holiday event. And so I guide you through this
Speaker:journey. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for
Speaker:being here with me at this time and wishing
Speaker:you so much love and light. Let's get started.
Speaker:Welcome. I'm so happy you're here. Today, I wanna share with you
Speaker:a practice that's really close to my heart, and it's called
Speaker:mindfulness self compassion. If you are into mindfulness,
Speaker:you will have come across this concept. As a yoga
Speaker:teacher and mindfulness guide, I really
Speaker:encounter many people. And throughout the practices, I just
Speaker:notice how hard everyone is on themselves. We are
Speaker:just so critical of ourselves. We're so hard
Speaker:on ourselves. And if we actually wrote out our
Speaker:thoughts on paper and how we talk to ourselves, if we
Speaker:were to use those same words, we would never ever have
Speaker:any friends if we use those words on others.
Speaker:Our self talk, our inner critic can be just
Speaker:absolutely brutal. So I always encourage
Speaker:ourselves and others to really be mindful, to
Speaker:really offer ourselves self compassion. And
Speaker:I had a neighbor, Liz, who's so sweet. She said to me, well, she
Speaker:didn't really understand what self compassion was. She thought,
Speaker:well, does that mean feeling sorry for yourself? And I said,
Speaker:thank you for offering that question up to me because
Speaker:it just goes to show me that I have a clear concept of what self
Speaker:compassion is, but not everyone else does. So I would like
Speaker:to really place this into a practical example.
Speaker:Just before the holidays, I was invited to a beautiful
Speaker:evening of music and meditation through frequency
Speaker:and vibration with Cynthia Konopka. And
Speaker:she had hosted it at her condo building. And
Speaker:in her invitation, which was very beautiful, it said,
Speaker:come for this beautiful evening. She's a violinist
Speaker:and vocal singer. She says, come for this beautiful
Speaker:evening. You can have pictures around the tree.
Speaker:And also during meditation, you may get a little cool, so
Speaker:feel free to bring a blanket. And if you know
Speaker:anything about me, whenever I hear cold
Speaker:and blanket, I think cozy. Because my whole
Speaker:objective in life is to be cozy. I just like being comfortable.
Speaker:It's just who I am. So when I heard that, I took it upon
Speaker:myself to ignore the prospect of
Speaker:picture taking in front of a tree, and I decided to wear
Speaker:my new pink bunny outfit. And when I say pink
Speaker:bunny, it's I love yoga attire. And I had bought
Speaker:a really pretty, cozy warm pink jacket.
Speaker:So I call it my pink bunny. So I took it
Speaker:upon myself to wear that to the occasion. I parked. I
Speaker:walked into the building, and I was
Speaker:like, oh, this is really, really beautiful.
Speaker:And I walked further down the hall and I opened the
Speaker:room to where Cynthia was offering the event.
Speaker:And it was absolutely stunning, and it was gorgeous.
Speaker:And my jaw dropped because all around
Speaker:me were people, women beautifully dressed
Speaker:in gorgeous gowns, very well
Speaker:prepared for a beautiful evening. And I, in
Speaker:my pink bunny outfit, was absolutely
Speaker:horrified. I know it's not a big problem in in all the
Speaker:problems that are going on in the world, but what it did to my self
Speaker:esteem was a big problem. So
Speaker:I looked around and I
Speaker:didn't know what to do. I kinda looked down at myself
Speaker:and I thought, wow. Linda, you really messed
Speaker:that up. You did not dress appropriately for
Speaker:this. But because I had just arrived
Speaker:and the event was beginning very soon, I couldn't really
Speaker:turn back, and I didn't wanna turn back. I was really looking forward to the
Speaker:evening. I really beat myself up because I was
Speaker:not dressed appropriately nor prepared for this beautiful
Speaker:event. This is where mindfulness,
Speaker:self compassion really came into play.
Speaker:I had to dig deep and say to myself,
Speaker:Linda, are you gonna be miserable? Are
Speaker:you gonna bring this occasion and the
Speaker:glorious event around you? Are you gonna allow it to bring yourself down?
Speaker:And I didn't want it to because I'm a very positive and upbeat
Speaker:person. So I thought, you know, I can overcome this. I will just
Speaker:grin and bear it. I will allow my joy to supersede
Speaker:how I look. And I proceeded in the evening, but it was
Speaker:really clear that I was not prepared
Speaker:for the evening for what it deserved, actually. It was
Speaker:a really beautiful evening and quite eloquent,
Speaker:and I felt very self conscious. So this
Speaker:is the components of mindfulness, self compassion,
Speaker:which is founded on Kristin Neff's work.
Speaker:And there are 3 principles. They do not have to go in
Speaker:any particular order, but these are the three core values
Speaker:of mindfulness self compassion. And the first one is a sense of presence.
Speaker:It's a sense of mindfulness. So it's
Speaker:tapping into what your thoughts, emotions, and your
Speaker:sensations are feeling without resistance or
Speaker:avoidance. So it's really being present to everything that's going on within
Speaker:you. And because I was so unhappy with
Speaker:myself and feeling so self conscious, as I
Speaker:said before, I wanted to really label all my
Speaker:feelings. So I decided not only was I all those,
Speaker:but I also felt foolish. I felt really
Speaker:actually humiliated and even mortified to a certain
Speaker:extent. With naming these
Speaker:emotions, I love what my other sister says. She says name
Speaker:it to claim it. And I felt like naming and
Speaker:labeling these emotions will just allow me
Speaker:to soften into the mindfulness of them.
Speaker:So I feel self conscious. So I feel
Speaker:embarrassed. These are my feelings. What am I gonna do
Speaker:with them? In mindfulness, we can often
Speaker:blow the situation out of proportion, which was what I was
Speaker:doing. My ruminating thoughts, which
Speaker:often whenever we ruminate our thoughts, it narrows our focus and
Speaker:exaggerates our experience. So my ruminating thoughts
Speaker:were like, how could you do this? You knew that when they said
Speaker:pictures in front of a tree, it could mean that you wanted to dress a
Speaker:little better. You knew this, Linda, and you did
Speaker:not act upon it. You chose to focus on what you wanted,
Speaker:and hence, this is where you are right now. And I was going through all
Speaker:these ruminating thoughts. Now this was what I was wearing.
Speaker:But for you, you might find another circumstance that you can relate
Speaker:to in another area of your life where you're in
Speaker:an event or at a place where you feel embarrassed for
Speaker:whatever reason. And this is what I was going
Speaker:through. Everyone else was laughing and having a great
Speaker:time. No one else seemed to notice or even care about me except
Speaker:myself. So I acknowledged that I was feeling bad about
Speaker:myself. And then I love this next core practice of
Speaker:mindfulness, self compassion, and that is self kindness.
Speaker:You know, I knew what I was feeling. It was probably
Speaker:it was absolutely blowing out out of proportion. So I
Speaker:wanted to offer myself loving kindness. So
Speaker:instead of attacking and berating myself for being inadequate,
Speaker:I decided that I was going to comfort myself, my
Speaker:bruised ego, and to soothe myself with loving kindness.
Speaker:My mother, who has since passed, she always
Speaker:was such an advocate of lipstick. And I realized, wow,
Speaker:I didn't put any lipstick on. I have lipstick in my purse. Why don't
Speaker:I sneak to the ladies room? I'll put some lipstick on.
Speaker:It always made my mom feel better, so it'll make me feel
Speaker:better. So off I went. I applied my lipstick
Speaker:and I chuckled. Actually, when I looked in the mirror, I just thought of my
Speaker:mom and that really warmed my heart. So it really softened the edges
Speaker:of what I was experiencing at the moment.
Speaker:In any case, I went back to the party. And, of course,
Speaker:because I had this new outlook, I was starting to really
Speaker:enjoy myself and I could let it go. But
Speaker:then we started walking around and we started
Speaker:mingling more and I started feeling self conscious
Speaker:again. And the last component is
Speaker:common humanity. So I had to remind myself
Speaker:that everyone makes mistakes and dressing inadequately
Speaker:for the occasion is not the end of the world. There's much
Speaker:more impressing issues going on in the world than how I was
Speaker:dressing. And I felt kinda shallow that I was so concerned
Speaker:about this. But it was just and this is the thing. This is what I
Speaker:was going through. I was judging myself. I was going back like a
Speaker:ping pong ball. Why feeling that like this? It's so
Speaker:shallow to think like this, but then feeling out of place and feeling self
Speaker:conscious. So I was really ying yanging back and
Speaker:forth in this mindset. When I had to tell
Speaker:myself that feeling embarrassed at the end of the day
Speaker:is is the least concern I should be really worrying
Speaker:about because no one else is really gonna remember
Speaker:or care. I am not my body.
Speaker:I am the soul within my body. It's not what I'm wearing on
Speaker:the outside. It's the vibration that's resonating
Speaker:from from within me. So I began
Speaker:to really concentrate on being
Speaker:loving, kind, and feeling part of
Speaker:this experience together. Because
Speaker:when I recognize that other people may make
Speaker:mistakes, I can forgive myself. Wow.
Speaker:Is that ever hard to forgive yourself? I'm
Speaker:not sure which is easier, forgiving others or forgiving
Speaker:yourself. That is definitely another topic I will
Speaker:dive into on another episode because I think
Speaker:that's just something worth reflecting upon. But in this case,
Speaker:I decided that with these three components of being
Speaker:mindful to all my emotions, really offering
Speaker:myself loving kindness and comfort and soothing myself, and
Speaker:reminding myself that everyone makes mistakes. It's really
Speaker:not the end of the world. I was able to move forward
Speaker:and I actually had such a beautiful evening. The women
Speaker:were just so invigorating and uplifting.
Speaker:My dear friend, Maggie Habida from Photography A
Speaker:Boutique, she says to me she's a beautiful photographer. And in
Speaker:fact, she has done all the pictures in my website
Speaker:and on my podcast. She says to me, oh, Linda.
Speaker:So you look like the pink bunny. Let's take some photos. And we she took
Speaker:some just some beautiful photos because she has such a big heart.
Speaker:And it was just such a beautiful evening. Not only was it
Speaker:a beautiful evening to be in such beautiful
Speaker:vibration with other women, but it really
Speaker:was an experience for me. I
Speaker:went from happy to sad, from embarrassed
Speaker:to okay, to joyful to
Speaker:self critical. I was always going back and forth. And I
Speaker:thought, well, this is just a really safe
Speaker:place to practice mindfulness self compassion
Speaker:among women who are going to support me and love
Speaker:me no matter what. It was a really beautiful learning
Speaker:experience, but it really gave me an opportunity to put
Speaker:into practice what I preach, which is not
Speaker:always easy because I did chuckle a couple times thinking, if
Speaker:I was across from my friend who's telling me this story,
Speaker:what advice would I give her? And you're probably
Speaker:thinking of how you comfort your friends, how you
Speaker:comfort people who you care about. The challenge
Speaker:here or the mindfulness practice here is can
Speaker:you offer those same words of loving kindness,
Speaker:compassion, and support to yourself
Speaker:as you do to others. And my friend and
Speaker:neighbor, Liz, and that's what I told her. Mindfulness,
Speaker:self compassion is really being the kind
Speaker:of human being that is
Speaker:loving, kind, and supportive to others
Speaker:as to yourself. Because when we fill our
Speaker:cup up, we have more to offer others. When we
Speaker:practice self love, we can be more
Speaker:kind and loving to others. And that's what a call for love
Speaker:is. This whole example
Speaker:is a call for self love, which
Speaker:could be even more challenging than loving others.
Speaker:As you move forward, are you going to remember
Speaker:when you are berating yourself or very critical
Speaker:of yourself to practice self love.
Speaker:It's a call for self love by
Speaker:practicing mindfulness self compassion.
Speaker:Reach out to me. Let me know examples and stories that have
Speaker:happened to you. And I support you and I
Speaker:love you on your journey as I learn
Speaker:and always continue to remind myself to be grounded
Speaker:in self love. From my heart to yours,
