The Freedom of Not Taking It Personally: The Four Agreements Book Club (Part Two)

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Welcome to A Call for Love. Today, we’re diving into the second part of our Four Agreements podcast series based on Don Miguel Ruiz’s powerful book, The Four Agreements.

The agreements are:

Be impeccable with your word.

Don’t take anything personally.

Don’t make assumptions.

Always do your best.

If you missed Episode 94 on the first agreement, I invite you to go back and listen. You don’t need to listen in order, but each episode holds deep truths that are meant to find their way into your heart and life.

Today, we’re exploring the second agreement: Don’t take anything personally.

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This agreement builds on the first. Don’t take anything personally — it sounds simple, but it’s a deep practice. Most of us were conditioned from childhood to seek approval: from parents, teachers, caregivers, friends. That’s the domestication we’re here to gently dismantle.

People are living through their own lens. Have you ever sent a text that was misinterpreted? That’s the lens at play — our own fog of perception. We often take things personally due to personal importance, assuming everything is about us. But it rarely is. Often, we’re just projecting our insecurities onto others.

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When we take things personally, we hand our power over. I love this from Wayne Dyer: “If someone called you a car, would you believe them?” Of course not. Yet if someone says something that touches a wound, it sticks.

My brother once said, “If someone throws you a mud ball, are you going to catch it?” No. Because you don’t want to get dirty.

Don Miguel Ruiz says these hurtful words are like poison. They come from others’ wounds, their stories — not ours.

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I remember guiding a meditation class when someone bought a pass specifically for my class. Someone said, “You must feel so good.” But I replied, “Actually, no — not because it doesn’t feel nice, but because I can’t base my worth on that.”

If I tie my value to people’s praise, I’ll be devastated when they walk away. What I offer — like this podcast — comes from my heart. If it lands for you, beautiful. If not, that’s okay too. I know my worth. And that’s what this agreement is about.

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Ruiz also talks about fear — how it often shows up as anger. I used to think people were mad at me when they were angry. But underneath anger? Almost always: fear.

Picture this — a child reaches for a hot stove and the caregiver yells, “What are you doing?!” That’s fear showing up as anger. When people lash out, we can learn not to take it personally. They’re in their own fear.

But — and here’s the soul work — if their words trigger something in us, that’s our invitation. Our emotions are sacred messengers. If you feel a dagger of pain from someone’s comment, there’s a wound there. And I believe those wounds are part of our soul agreements — invitations to evolve.

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This is why I created Soul School, a free community to support emotional freedom. Because no matter who you are — your age, background, or experience — we all get emotionally triggered. That’s part of being human.

I also created the Sacred Circle of Seven — a seven-day journey to move from wound to wisdom. When we take something personally, it’s a sign. It’s not wrong. It’s the beginning of healing. That’s the gift.

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Don Miguel Ruiz says you are the director of your life’s movie. When we take things personally, we give someone else control of the script. That causes suffering.

The Buddha teaches: clinging or pushing away leads to suffering. Byron Katie says: love what is. We can witness what’s happening without needing to attach. Create a protective bubble — let the words bounce off your truth.

I once had someone say something so bizarre to me that I laughed. It didn’t even touch me because it wasn’t my story. That’s when we know we’ve reclaimed our power.

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There’s the voice of fear — the ego — and the voice of the soul. One creates peace, the other conflict. I use “soul” because I’ve seen someone pass away, and when the soul leaves, the body is just a shell.

To return to the soul is to remember our truth. Healing is evolution — and when we evolve, we uplift everyone around us. That’s what I believe.

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Many people are addicted to suffering, to negativity. It’s the shadow self. You’ve met people who always share the bad news first, right?

That mindset — that addiction to pain — often fuels the hurtful words they project. But Ruiz says: we don’t have to keep those agreements. We can let go.

So when words hurt, let them show you where the healing is. That’s the soul work. That’s where we grow.

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Everyone walks their own journey. We can’t fix or control that — and we’re not meant to.

But we can set boundaries. We can say yes or no without guilt. We can protect our energy and stay grounded in truth. That’s how we stop taking things personally.

You need a safe space to feel it so you can heal it. Boundaries help create that space.

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Ruiz says the first two agreements — Be impeccable with your word and Don’t take anything personally — can transform 75% of your emotional suffering.

Speak with love, kindness, and truth. Let your words uplift, not harm. And when others speak, let them bounce off your protective light.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but awareness begins the journey. We’re in this together. This is A Call for Love — for yourself and for others.

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Thank you for joining me today. Episode 94 was on the first agreement, and in the next two episodes, we’ll explore:

Agreement Three: Don’t Make Assumptions

Agreement Four: Always Do Your Best

I hope you’ll continue the journey. And please share this episode with someone you love.

From my heart to yours — namaste, dear friend.