Shift From Loss to Love with S.T.O.P. | S1E017

Linda Orsini: 00:00:08

Hello and welcome to a call for love. I believe the most powerful gift you can offer yourself is to give and receive love more freely. I'm your host, Linda Orsini meditation guidance spiritual coach. Everyone has the desire to be seen, heard, respected and loved. The journey to becoming more connected to your greater purpose lies within the ability to live from the deep source of love within you. Let's begin.

Linda Orsini: 00:00:39

Hello, friends, I'd like to share with you that as a life transformation coach, I had a client the other day and she was sharing how her very dear friend is moving to another province, living in Canada, we have the provinces and she's moving to another one with her husband. And the woman my client was quite upset, she was very happy for her friend. But she was starting to feel this loss, this grief, this missing and it was really affecting her and affecting her sleep, she would wake up in the middle of the night, and not get back to sleep. And she didn't know how to deal with it because she wanted to have joy for her friend. But also she was feeling this deep heaviness. So I love this acronym called stop. And I said let's walk through this together. And stop actually is the acronym for stop, pause, take a few breaths, observe what's going on before you proceed into action. So I'd like to walk with you through this process, just using her as an example. So I asked her to become very still and settled. I really liked when I placed my feet on the ground. So I asked her to place your feet on the ground. When you place your feet on the ground, it really routes you into the moment. And I said let's just stop and pause. Stop can mean stop. But it actually means to create space to create space in your ruminating thoughts and all the busyness of your day to really settle down and turn inward. Because everything that mostly happens is from the inside. So there was something going on inside of her that she felt was coming out because of the circumstances with her friend moving. So to stop, she wanted to close her eyes. And I guided her to proceed to take a few breaths that's t. So it's S is for stop, I like to add create space. And this is a mindfulness activity so you can Google it. But I will definitely walk you through all this. So ask stop, create space, and t take a timeout or take a couple breaths. So I guided her to soften through her belly, lift the crown of her head, take a deep breath in and exhale, release it out. And just notice her breathing just allow her breathing to become a little calmer because once you start talking about something that's very emotional, you tend to get activated, and your breath does tend to quick and because your body goes into a stress mode, your body doesn't actually understand real stress from a perceived stress. So it always handles it the same. Now this was not a stressful situation like being in danger, but it was a stressful emotional situation. And so her body was reacting by breathing faster. So I guided her by calming down her breath. Then we begin to observe so I asked her to observe. You begin by noticing what is going on in your physical body. Often, it's tension and tightness in the shoulders, especially the stomach. The Heart Center, may be clenching between the eyebrows, the forehead, the jaw, your body becomes stiff as it is ready to react as in a stressful situation to spring to act fast. So she noticed that there was this sick feeling in her stomach and sorrow or grief in her heart center. So we don't judge it. We're just noticing what's going on in her physical body and then asking her what's going on in her mind. What is she thinking, she's thinking that she's not going to see her as often, they're not going to have their walks together, they're not going to have all those coffees together all those times that she really looked forward to, they weren't going to be able to have. So she was feeling grief, a sense of loss, a sense of change that she did not want. Although she understood it in the logical mind, in her emotional mind, she can, she was having an issue with that. And she felt such a sense of loss. So we once again did not judge it, we moved on, to noticing what she was feeling. And that was what she's feeling grief, and loss. So this is where we want to really stop and pause. Because once you take your space, offer yourself space, you take a couple breaths, and you observe what's in your body, mind and feelings and thoughts.

Linda Orsini: 00:06:08

You do not want to react. Because what happens is that you are still emotionally activated. And you might say to your friend, like she said to her friend, I'm so happy for you, this is really great news, it's a great opportunity for you. But her vibration, her heart was not saying the same thing. In her heart, she was thinking about herself, she was thinking about her loss, how she was going to navigate her life not seeing her friend, she would have to take a plane to see her friend. And of course that takes money, time, vacation time, and all sorts of other obstacles. So even though she was expressing to her friend, that she was happy for her. Inside her, her vibration was not speaking the same language, and the universe hears our vibration, the universe does not hear our words. And this is where it becomes so paramount to do our inner work. Because everything that's happening outside of us, is a reflection of what's happening inside of us. And inside of us. And especially for this lady, she was really struggling. So even though she was offering all the words that unkind friend gives, it wasn't really coming through. The intention wasn't there. She really needed to do some inner work. So I believe that she was feeling this lack mentality, this loss, and all loss stems from ourselves. As myself, a student of A Course in Miracles A Course in Miracles says that those who know they are hold, do not make demands do not make demands on the universe. If she was really feeling solid in herself and her relationship, she wouldn't have had this lack mentality, this that she needed to receive from the universe from her friend to fill up her own emptiness, this, this, this missing inside of herself. And so when I asked her this, and we really discussed it at length, the first thing that was required is always self compassion, to really notice, hey, listen, there's a change that's going on. Maybe I'm not ready for it. Where is this loss coming from? I'm not losing a friend. But I feel as though I'm losing a friend. And why am I feeling this loss, that means there's an emptiness and everything stems from inside of ourselves. If you're a listener, of course to miracles, everything begins with us. It begins inside, it's an inside job. And when you can really stop and notice where your emotional sorrow was coming from loss and it doesn't have to be from a friend moving. It could be so many other ways of losing that you can really place yourself in a position to ask yourself that this loss this emptiness is a result of a lack within if you can tap into that offer yourself loving kindness, it's okay this these are normal loss is a part of life. But you know, when you receive from the universe, and you feel that abundance, you can spread it outwards. So after Are several discussions, she was really able to dive into feeling that she didn't really need to rely on her friend, to give her that joy she was always expecting to receive during their encounters, she could have it over the phone, and she could fill her own cup, she could find the inner joy within her. And that was where she shifted. And this is the key here is where you are in usually in a place of fear, stress, anxiety loss, then it's a call for love. And you can only move from a call for love to a place of love. If you shift your mindset, if you make the transformation of thought, from lack to abundance, from missing to plenty. And once she really tuned into that, and gave herself time to actually embody it, and become that vibration, and not feel dependent on her friend to create her own joy. But the joy could come from herself, the wholeness, the fulfillment from herself, then she was able to authentically share with her friend, her joy on her new adventure. And her whole mindset began to shift. Of course, she can't go out to visit her friend at this time, but they're making plans in the future. And they are doing virtual parties, and they're going to have a wine night and, and they're they just really went to town in such creativity. And she was giggling and it was bringing her so much joy. My message here is you can apply stop, s, stop, create space, t take a time out. Take time to notice your breath, take time to go out into nature. And that could mean a couple of minutes could mean a couple of days. Whatever requires stop, and then observe, observe what is going on in your physical body and your sensations in your shoulders in your stomach. What thoughts are coming into your mind, maybe you need to journal meditate, and then noticing your feelings. And this is really key. I'm gonna say it again. You do not want to judge your feelings you don't want to be rate yourself that critical inner critic that saying why you feel like this, you shouldn't be feeling this like the for having that internal fight with yourself. No offer yourself Self Compassion, realizing these are normal feelings that one may have, but you can move through it. And only proceed, proceed with intention, when you are of the vibration of love. This is so so important.

Linda Orsini: 00:13:10

Our goal here, I believe in our life is to spread love and light. You cannot spread love and light. If you are not embodying it, you want to feel that within you, when you express it. And when you spring forward into action. It has to come from that place. Or else it's not authentic. And you know, even though others may not actually know, inside their soul, they know something's a mess. There's there's a distance, there's a disconnect, and you don't want to have that you want to really spring forward with the truest vibration. And if you can't, then that's when maybe you seek help. Maybe you seek counseling friend, a coach, you seek help to move into that space to shift your mind space into love, the vibration of love, because we all want to leave others with a sense of plenty. I love the quote by Denzel Washington. In the end, it's not about what you've accomplished. It's about whom you've lifted up, whom you've made better. It's about what you've given back. And you can only give what you have. So tapping into that wholeness, that fulfillment that love with inside you and then springing that forward, proceeding to share through action through vibration and your words you can really make and help people feel better. And I love a quote by Maya Angelou, I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. You can only share the feelings of love and abundance if you are in a place of love and abundance. And if you aren't, that's okay. You need to stop, take the time to really come into that place, do the best you can, everyone's only doing the best they can. And you know, you have the support of others, you have the support of meditation, you have the support of turning inward. And anyone who's listening to a call for love, I know is into the journey of self discovery and inner work. So please reach out if you have anything to share here. I love getting messages from the listeners. And I am here to support you on your journey. We're all in this journey together. And we want to be the love and light that shines outwards and it has to come from within first. Thank you for listening today. From my heart to yours. Namaste.